The Trauma That Changed My Life
October 11th 2024
I would like to tell you the story that led me to my spiritual awakening, sparked by trauma.
Five years ago, we raised two golden retrievers named Acoria and Ripley. Acoria was Ripley’s mother. She gave birth to two litters, and Ripley was the little runt of the second with a huge personality that we couldn’t help but to keep.
We moved from Maine to San Antonio, Texas, nine years ago without knowing hardly anyone. Of course, that meant we didn’t have an established pet sitter for when we traveled. My husband had a conference in San Diego, and I wanted to go. We reached out to a widely known national pet-sitting company to find a sitter. We met the lady, and she was really nice and had a lot of good references. She got along with our dogs, so we decided we would leave them with her.
We dropped them off and went to California. After a few days, around 10 p.m., we received a phone call that she had lost Acoria and Ripley in the dark, on extended leashes, in coyote—and mountain lion-infested woods. Panic set it. Uncontrollably crying, we rode those rented scooters back to the hotel from the restaurant as fast as we could, trying not to crash from being so rattled. We booked the next flight home the following morning. Neither of us slept. We got off the plane, dumped our suitcases at home then went straight to the site she lost them.
She was visibly upset and apologetic, but my husband and I were so upset we had a hard time even looking at her. She said she looked until 3 am, took a break, and went back out with friends. We looked until 10 pm in rough terrain, came home, ate, slept for 4 hours, and went back out to look for most of the next day. We couldn’t find them. We drove around neighborhoods and posted flyers everywhere. We couldn’t find them. During all this, we signed up for a bunch of pet-finding services to help, called all the shelters, and created social media pages. We couldn’t find them. The word panic doesn’t even describe the feeling we felt. We were in a drought and the days were reaching 100+degrees. Even a day or two in those conditions without water could kill them.
I have to backtrack so you can understand my mindset. I think all of us have things that trigger us. One where the moment you see or hear it, you have an automatic emotional reaction that you cannot control. Mine was animal abuse and welfare. I had to change the channel anytime one of those Sarah Mclachlan commercials came on. If there was a story about animal abuse in my social media feed or on the news, I had to hide/change it or it would haunt me for days. I was super sensitive.
One thing that people don’t really discuss is that when you lose a dog in a big city, it's more than just informing their neighbors, trekking through the woods, and hanging flyers. Many cities like SA are overrun by stray animals, which means the shelter is too. They will watch for your dog, but you have to physically walk the shelter and go through the list of intakes every day. The things that we saw in those shelters were heartbreaking. The animals were starved, dumped, abused, and fearful. Many of them just wanted a pat or comfort the moment they saw you. The staff told us that the dogs in the cages upfront, with the reduced adoption fee, were going to be euthanized that night if they didn’t find a home. They were trying to get them some exposure for new families. We even saw some of them being “walked out back”. It never got easier. Traumatized is the best word for it.
That’s just the shelters, though. There is more. We had a lot of coverage from media sources, and many people stepped up to help us. I mean A LOT of them. We even had a company donate space on one of those electronic billboards for a few days. We received a lot of calls from people trying to help, but some of them were pretty negative. On too many occasions, people talked about the underground dog fighting rings and hoarders taking our dogs. A few even tried to say they might have been part of a golden retriever meat farm.
That said, I will never forget the incredible number of loving, supportive people who came into our lives despite that. Some of us even became lifelong friends.
I often refer to this time in my life as “I saw the best and worst of humanity at the very same time.”
After a month or so, I drove around nearly every day, making sure the flyers were still up and replacing the ones I needed to. I had hundreds of them. I made sure I created a post on social media every day, but over time, the acceptance of never finding them grew.
On the year anniversary, and to heal, I decided I was going to surrender to God/The Universe/Source because I cried, screamed, pleaded, prayed, pushed…there was nothing left that I could do.
I decided to rise above it. I forgave whatever happened to them. I forgave the person or animals that either took or maybe even killed them. I gave faith that I may not know “the grand plan” of our existence and why it happened. I stopped fear.
Fast-forward a month and a half after that day, and literally overnight, I had my spiritual awakening without trying or asking for it.
It was almost as if everything changed metaphysically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I had been meditating daily for years before the girls were lost, so I knew what it was supposed to look and feel like. This was very different than that.
When I closed my eyes and focused, it was almost like what was foggy in my mental vision before was clear. An ability to communicate with something higher but without words. It was celestial, and most of the time, I felt like I was bathed in golden light. My body felt as if it glowed like a lightbulb during the meditations themselves. I have seen little specks of light in the air for about 8-9 years now, but those have intensified dramatically.
At the same time, my ego changed. I was pretty muchAlmost all preconceived judgments and triggers became non-existent in judging others.. I expected nothing of anyone. I realized that we are all one and connected. I was able to stay in the present without attachment. It was surreal.
I think many people are affected by personal traumas similar to mine. It affected my husband, my family, friends, strangers helping…everyone.
This event forced me to confront my biggest trigger and fear and put me in the worst possible conditions to shift me into awakening. It was a massive dark night of the soul moment. It brought my shadow self to the surface to try to find light where it was darkest. The limbo was excruciating, but it was that very thought that forced me to have faith.
I think all of us have stories of how we awaken, but that is mine. I hope that it reaches the people who need to hear it the most and let you know that you are not alone. What you’re going through is part of the process, and if you are willing to lean into it, find that light, and a way to heal from it, you might just wake up to a whole new world.
Much Love
Tricha
Sepetmeber 27th, 2024
The Spiritual Matrix
to the Institute of Physics UK, if you removed the empty space of the population of all human beings, the entire race would fit inside a sugar cube. You could even fit millions of people inside of a grain of sand.
Considering how much science impacts our understanding of existence, where does spirituality fit?
I’m so excited to tell you how, but first, I have something to say about belief.
Some people believe that everything we experience is a projection of our consciousness. A sort of story that we manifest ourselves that overlaps with others to co-create reality. Others believe that we are “one,” a sort of collective that is both connected and individual simultaneously. Some people believe that we are “Source” that spreads out, collects data, and returns home/whole again to evolve quickly. Some say we are an incubator for other species in the universe, using DNA to recreate or preserve their race. Some people are very devout in their faith and believe in an almighty God or many of them. Some people don’t believe in any of this. It’s not for me to judge; I can see how any or all of them could exist or even be linked together. So please know when I do get around to explaining the spiritual component of what I call “The Spiritual Matrix:, I have considered everyone.
But first, let’s get into the science.
Understanding energy started for me when I read about a brilliant doctor named Hans Jenny, who is known for his study of cymatics.
In his experiments, he laid quartz dust on a metal plate and then vibrated it using an oscillator to create frequencies. This caused the sand to form geometric shapes such as circles, patterns, grids, and complex mandala-type designs.
We find these patterns in nature, even within our bodies. Please see the picture below. The Fibonacci spiral, the Flower of Life, and Merkabah are some of the most recognized patterns because they occur in various plants and elements. If we examine life on a molecular level, we will notice that the atoms themselves represent the Flower of Life and the Merkabah. DNA is a great example of naturally occurring sacred geometry, too. These are the easiest to reference, but there are many more.
I found it interesting that many religions and cultures have used these symbols (like the Flower of Life) worldwide and in ancient times. In fact, they have been found in 20+ ancient locations with identical markings or within their scripture/books.
So, what am I getting at? Humanity has known sacred geometry was real even in ancient times; it often played a part in the rituals or ceremonies of completely different faiths worldwide, including those who had never met until oceanic travel was used. We still see it used today in churches/temples, philosophy, worship, etc., but we somehow forget that it creates existence. Sacred geometry is not only what we see outside of our bodies but the very fabric that creates the vessels we live in.
Check this out. Look around your room or wherever you are and quickly acknowledge some of its material items. Everything you see vibrates with different frequencies to create the illusion of density. The atoms/matter and energy arrange themselves to create those variants. A more straightforward way to put it is that one thing is more solid, heavier, softer, lighter, and sheer than others.
Being composed of sacred geometry ourselves, in theory, we may not be capable of changing our physical attributes or moving things with our minds… at least not yet. I do have to recognize that many people believe that we can heal ourselves and others through energy work—but we can “flow” with Source to influence our day-to-day life and, most of all, raise our vibration to find a deeper connection to that higher power, meaning, purpose, and enlightenment.
There are a few ways to do this: Some people use sounds like “Ohm” or they sing. Some use affirmations. Some use Mantras or Prayer. Some meditate, Some believe that what we think about or lend our energy manifests in our lives (The Law of Attraction). I am sure there are more, but they all have one thing in common: they know that vibration and frequency are directly linked to communication and connection to something bigger than themselves.
If geometry is the building block of reality, does this mean we are 1s and 0s? Is it a simulation? Are we still spiritual beings?
We may not be 1s and 0s because we are so much more complex than that. Simulation, yes, to an extent. Are we spiritual? Um, yes!
It’s hard to understand because all we see is matter, sometimes energy. (I will get into the photon part of this reality another time.) After getting used to this idea, my perception of reality changed to seeing it as magical and poetic. Why? This means we humans are something much larger than what we are experiencing now. Though we connect, flow and communicate with the platform, it's part of the collective manifestation.
We are not our atoms; our true beings are the energy that holds them together. Your body is only a vessel; your surroundings are manifested only to have an experience. You, we, are so powerful and divine.
This is why I refer to this reality as “The Spiritual Matrix.” Both science and spirit have their roles to play in it. One is who we are, and the other provides duality, polarity, and math….as a platform, something solid for us to use to evolve.
For so long, I was tricked into thinking that I had to choose one or the other, science or faith. Now I know I don’t, and you don’t have to either. If humanity could just be a little more open-minded, I think it may just unlock the answers for us all.
Much Love
Tricha
October 4th 2024
Tribes
The word “tribe” caught my eye while browsing social media in the last few days so I am going to go with the flow and accept the Universe’s nudges to use it as the subject of this week’s post.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a “tribe” is: a social group made up of many families, clans, or generations that share the same language, customs, and beliefs. 2. : a group of persons with a common character, occupation, or interest. 3. : a group of related plants or animals.
In this post, I want to discuss people who identify as spiritual but do not worship or practice mainstream religion. I also want to point out that before the internet and social media were invented, many felt great isolation and confusion about the beliefs or theories that they resonated with, and now, in modern times, all of that is changing.
I’m 45 years old and grew up in Maine. Between not having internet access until my late teens and living in an area with a relatively low population, the chances of me meeting someone like myself were pretty low. I had all these exciting and weird experiences throughout my life, but anytime I talked about them to my family or friends, they couldn’t relate. Over time, I stopped talking about them at all. I went on with my life trying to act like everyone else but I never quite fit in.
After Facebook was launched, I would post the occasional positive meme throughout the years while doing a lot of work on myself offline. In 2016, I joined groups and started to have in-depth conversations about metaphysics, social awareness, and alt-spiritual beliefs. It felt like I had stepped into a whole new society of people who were no longer burdened by creating mainstream social façades of themselves and were unafraid to challenge any establishment to find the truth of who they were.
Though social media has some serious issues, it has allowed the masses to connect and have open discussions that were considered taboo even 20 years ago. Some of these groups on Facebook alone are 1M+; many others are 10ks, 100ks-, and are growing every day. Can you even imagine how many people who are not signed up for SM that feel the same way? So many want to be heard. This is finally starting to happen. In my experience, SM groups and communities have become sort of umbrella “tribes” to meet more intimate/immediate ones.
A side note: I do have to mention that we are finally getting our news and information from unfiltered independent sources instead of from mainstream media. This mindset and thirst for the truth is spreading. That’s a beautiful thing.
Intimate/immediate Tribes
I can only explain what “tribe” means from my perspective. When I think of it, I think of unconditional love and trust. There is such a strong bond that the moment you meet, you are best friends and can't stand to be apart. You can tell each other just about anything without judgment. You see them on a soul level like they are a long-lost relative or childhood friend. Sometimes, oftentimes, more people are added to the group that feels the same way.
Your tribe can be your family, friends, co-workers, or just about anyone, but just because someone is in your life doesn’t mean they are part of it. People are born into families and environments for many reasons, sometimes to learn lessons and grow through hardships. You don’t have to stick around if they are toxic. It was a lesson, a limited experience, not a life sentence.
I’m not sure if you’ve heard of the concept that when people meditate in groups, they can raise the vibration of their focus exponentially. I believe that happens when tribe members are in each other’s presence. They are empowered. It allows them to live up to their highest energetic potential. They are safe, supported, and free to be their true self. Those are the people you are looking for.
I want to give a shout-out to the people I have connected with over the years. Though my social anxiety gets the best of me in group settings, thank you for being so supportive and loving. I have learned so much from all of you. I am so grateful.
Much Love
Tricha
September 22nd 2024
The Ways of the River
People often talk about how life’s journey is like a river. We are meant to flow with the current, sometimes encountering peaceful experiences and other times turbulent water. The point of it all is to gain awareness, understanding, and connection to the Source and humanity to achieve personal growth(often spiritual) and hope that by the time the river meets the ocean, we will have raised our vibration enough so that we can merge with it.
Some of us get hung up on lessons, like metaphorical jagged rocks that block us from flowing with the current, creating a whirlpool vortex that we can’t seem to break free from.
I’ve been there—and I still get caught up on them from time to time… but I now understand why it happens and how to use certain techniques to free myself. The goal of this post is to try to help you do it as well.
I believe psychology has a huge role to play in our personal and spiritual evolution. Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, I truly believe we were sent here with fixed milestones and pivot point scenarios that steer our lives in one way or another. Sometimes, we do this over many lifetimes until we get it right. Of course, some of them are positive in nature, and others are not.
This reality/world/whatever you would like to call it, has a very strong positive and negative polarity spectrum. Then we have the subject of duality… For something to exist, the opposite must exist as well, or there would be no means of measurement. The negative experiences we encounter in our lives are meant to create pushback but never to be embraced.
Some of them are quite harsh, and I honestly believe the truly horrific ones were never meant to happen. I think humanity has been exploited and manipulated and that’s why they have become so strong. I will write about that another time.
The thing is, when we get sucked into one of these destructive vortexes, Source will not let us leave until we have learnt that lesson. It’s just the way the “cycle” works. The more times we circle it, the worse it gets as a way to push us to make the right choice. Sometimes we have attachments and blatantly refuse to move. Other times, we don’t understand why it’s happening and cannot change our behavior, so we get stuck.
I attended a dialectic behavior therapy class years ago, and it changed my life. It taught me mindfulness and how to stop that inner dialog that prevents me from being in the present and from making irrational choices. It also helped me have constructive conversations and empathy for others that I typically wouldn’t have before.
Without diving too deep into my past, I have to say that I was shocked at the kind of behavior the adults in my life had while I was growing up. Once I reached adulthood, I realized those behavior patterns were passed on to me. That’s when it became my responsibility to change them.
I had the realization that people can grow up in toxic homes thinking that it is “normal” and that almost everyone else has similar lives. The distortion is very real. My moral compass was broken too.
So what do you do?
Energy is the way you communicate with Source and manifest the things you want in your life. Finding ways to heal yourself and transform back into the person you actually are allows you to focus and set very clear intentions toward your goals, shedding those negative attachments or confusion that distort your energy.
There is no way I can teach you DBT in just one post, but I will refer to it from time to time. I highly recommend that you research it and even check out techniques because it works.
Life will never be perfect because it’s not designed that way. We are meant to experience everything—both positive and negative energies and the lessons they teach us. It’s your choice whether you want to get caught up in that negative turmoil or steer your life with joy. This is not about avoiding the obstacles altogether in hopes of making life perfect; it’s about working with Source to experience all that it has to offer.
Until next time…
Tricha
September 13th 2024
Synchronicity, Manifestation and Psychology
I've chosen to follow my heart and write about how psychology influences spiritual synchronicity and manifestation.
For me, spirituality is about connecting with something greater than ourselves, placing our trust in its guidance toward positivity, and discovering comfort and purpose in the face of adversity. It's about embracing incomprehensible love and having faith in something beyond what we can perceive with our own eyes.
The experiences we have had in the past shape our behavior today. Our energy influences how things fall into place and what we attract into our lives. While we use words to communicate, it's our energy that truly speaks the language of Source.
Synchronicity is like Source sending you little signs to let you know that you're on the right track. These signs can come in the form of angel numbers, chance encounters with strangers, hearing the perfect song on the radio, unexpected financial blessings, or thinking about someone and then seeing them unexpectedly. These are all examples of synchronicity. Manifestation is about creating things in your life through your energy and thoughts, whether they're positive or negative."
Our mood and mindset have a tremendous impact on our lives. We all have times when we wake up grumpy and it seems to set a negative tone for the entire day. Everything seems to go wrong. Then there are those days when we wake up feeling great, the sun is shining, and everything goes smoothly…even what we first thought were obstacles end up turning into something positive.
Changing our perspective can shift the trajectory of our day toward positive outcomes and manifestations. It's important to acknowledge that we all have challenging times as part of life's ebb and flow. While we can control some things, there are situations beyond our control, and in those cases, acceptance and faith are our best allies.
I'm certain some of you might be wondering, "That’s all well and good, but what about the significant, life-altering events that rock us to our core?" "It’s just not that simple.”
I have faced challenging times in my life when I felt like I would never fully recover mentally. I understand the feeling of deep helplessness, stuck in limbo and in pain. I fought hard to change it, but no matter what I did, I couldn't.
On the one-year anniversary of one of those times, I made the decision to not just accept it, but also to genuinely forgive, have faith that what happened was meant to be, and be humble enough to surrender control to a higher power. Just 1.5 months later, I had my spiritual awakening. After discussing it with people I deeply respect, we recognized it as a "dark night of the soul" moment. I encourage you to explore this concept, especially if you've been through a major trauma. This experience completely changed my perspective on life. It felt like I had let go of the negative parts of my ego, such as judgment, separation, and expectation. It was truly liberating.
There is profound power in healing. I firmly believe this is why many spiritual individuals often encounter the most trials and difficulties in life. These challenges are meant to propel them forward, provided they are willing to transmute them with healing and love.
We are all beings of love and light. The essence of the self is composed of energy, photons, and very little matter. Your body is merely a vessel, but you are divine. By harmonizing with the Source, you can manifest the life you've always imagined because you project everything you experience from within.
Take small steps and try to shift your mindset a little every day. Choose kindness and serve others. And when you can't, don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember, self-care, self-love, and healing should be your top priority. I promise it will change your life.
I love you all.
Tricha Sauce
Connect.
Love.
Expand.
